...not the goddesses, 'cause us women suck. heh. But I digress. Already.
I do my best thinking when I'm 2/3 into a bottle of Bier. And on this sunny, warm, mosquito-free afternoon (this same afternoon that we celebrate 13 years marriage) I've decided that all my angst is from me trying to conform. I'm trying so desparately hard to fit into the suburban housewife mode. I need one, 4 bedroom house, 2.5 kids, the manicured lawn, spotless house with a place to put all the bulk food I buy from Sam's club.
That's it. I'm done with the craziness. And, as I mention it to Kurt, he says ever so confidently... "I know." Ah, the wisdom in that man. And how he has the patience to sit by and watch me, 10 years his junior, make the same mistakes or entertain the same thoughts he's already wrestled with.... sigh.... patience. Incredible. He tells me, that's why I married him. He was my one hope. My ticket out of the madness the sameness as everyone else. Deep down I knew he was the one, the best thing that happened to me.
13 years.... that's a long time, and yet, of course the years will just keep rollin' on. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I almost typed, "I can't imagine....." But, of course I can. I always thought I'd be married to a suit. Someone just like every suit of a man. Someone who goes to the office 9-5, someone who takes the business trips, and we'd be just like everyone else.... yuk. Where's the fun in that??! And, did I mention how amazing it was to me when walking in to the restuarant Friday evening with the kids to meet him?? There he was sitting at the table, wearing his brand new glasses..... He picked them out with me in mind.... they're those lovely "European" style frames that I find so sexy!!! He did it for me!!! Damn, I'm a lucky girl! =)
So, I have an unconventional place to live and a wacky, unconventional guy to share it with! I wouldn't want it any other way.
And so this afternoon, sitting out here sipping my Bier, music playing in the background, the lightbulb finally appeared over my head.... I'm not going to be like the other suburban hausfraus. Let them all envy me!
Here we were.... waaay back on May 30, 1992.
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on another note.... tomorrow I'm working, and I'm almost finished with the substitute, school nursing work. Friday will be my last day! Hooray!
1 comment:
i see nothing wrong with being a "suburban hausfrau" - as long as you got your own style, your own head, and your own way of thinking. ;-)
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