Brain Chemistry

We exist primarily through our own illusions of continuity. Our sense of self and sense of "being conscious" is just brain chemistry at work. It's all an illusion, and not a particularly good illusion, either. If you're patient and observant, it's not too tough to see through the cracks of the facade.

For example... how many things can you think about at one time? One? Two? Three? Many? The way our lives often work, "one" is the easy answer. It's a serial world in many ways, things happen in a nice linear order. I suspect that dogs really are this sort of linear creature, cats, too. They really only CAN think of one thing at a time.

People? We've got "grouping" tricks and the like. Think of red. Think of blue. It's not too hard too imagine a pattern of alternating red and blue either. But, at that point, are we really thinking of two things (red AND blue) or just thinking of one thing: the pattern of red/blue? Try it with numbers or faces... can you really think of two faces at once?

With practice... you can. Don't group, don't think "crowd". Don't think of a picture with two faces in it. Think of two faces. Why bother? 'Cause if you watch how you get there, you can see the holes in the illusion of continuity. We DON'T think continually... we are NOT just ONE identity. We flow through all sorts of changes constantly (including complete stops!) - we just fool ourselves into thinking that "we" exist. We're nothing but chemical and electrical reactions, there's no continuity! Most of the time, there are MANY chemical and electrical events taking place, many thoughts that you have simultaneously. But we fool ourselves into thinking that it's all linear, it all happens sequentially.

PMS. Believe it or not, it's a sort of gift to women that men don't have. Sort of. Basically, women's thinking, on a fairly regular cycle, becomes heavily influenced by hormones (or lack thereof). They become crabby, distant, overly emotional... all sorts of changes that truly vary from individual to indvidual. BUT, the key here is realizing that it's the chemical soup that's changing the thoughts. From the "inside", the thoughts seem real, the emotions genuine. From the "outside" the behavior has changed, the thoughts make no sense - or perhaps some sense but so out of character that we on the outside are left scratching our heads. The point here is it's NOT just women that go through this. And it's not just "that time of the month" that it happens. It happens to ALL of us, ALL the time. We just gloss over it. We think differently one day, we're angry for no discernable reason the next. Some days we're happy for no particular reason. Some days a book or a movie will leave us in tears... while another viewing may cause us to wonder how anything so stupid ever touched us at all.

Brain Chemistry at work. Look through the cracks. Listen to ALL of the voices in your head, realize that you not only can but DO think dozens of thoughts all at the same time. Don't pawn it off with the buzz word "sub-conscious"! All of these thoughts are accesible. Don't pretend that "you" are "you", immutable and unchanging, master of all that you think about. A little more of this chemical, a little less of that... and you're a whole new person, thinking differently, feeling differently, being differently.

And that's what diets can do to one's brain. They aren't bad, they aren't good. But they certainly can point out the disconnects, the holes in the illusioned whole.

At least, that's MY excuse for being so crabby of late!